Designing a Passionate Life

How to Design a Passionate Life Aligned with Your Values - Resulting in More Joy and Fulfillment

"Are you Suffering from Passion Deficit Disorder (PDD)?"

Hello, I'm Paula Harvey, and I'm a Certified Professional Coach (CPC) and I can assist you in identifying your top three passions and designing a life that is aligned with those passions and eliminate PDD. How do you know if you are suffering from Passion Deficit Disorder (PDD)? 

Take a quick personal inventory and find out. Are you bored? Is your zest for life gone? Do you ask yourself, is this all there is? Do you experience the "Thank Goodness it's Friday syndrome"? Do you have to force yourself to go to work? Do you come home at the end of the work day with nothing left to give to your family? Do you live for the weekend? Does life feel routine? If you answered yes to four or more of these questions you may be suffering from PDD.

Perhaps it's time to reinvigorate your life with passion. Living a life aligned with your passions is the secret to a life filled with joy and fulfillment and I can help you. I offer online ecourses, ebooks, teleclasses, free teleseminars, group and one on one coaching. I would love to get to know you and help bring passion back to your life. Sign up for my free passion report and watch for future posts.

                                            Follow me on Twitter

How to Recieve

Designing a passionate life, giving life meaning, and life purpose requires that you receive as well as give. From the time we are very little we are told by parents, teachers, friends, and relatives that it is better to give than to receive. I agree that it is a good thing to give but to give and give and give drains you of your energy and leaves a gapping hole in who you are. You have no idea who you are because you are so busy giving to everyone else you are and you have absolutely no idea how to receive.

The discussion on endless giving is for another blog post, right now I want to focus on receiving. There is a natural rhythm to giving and receiving and in order for the process to continue to flow, you must also receive. I want you to stop and think about how you receive. What do you do? Do you deflect compliments? Do you diminish the compliment? If someone gives you a gift, do you say, "you shouldn't have"? If someone wants to do something kind for you, do they have to practically hold you down and insist that you let them?

These are all methods of deflecting the gift the person is giving you, whether it is a gift of words, an object, or an experience. Two things are happening here. You are diminishing yourself, by not being open to receive and you are diminishing the gift being offered. When you know who you are and what you are about, receiving comes easily. It is not selfish to receive but a necessary flow of energy in your life. It fills you up and enables you to give back.

Now I want to give you some steps to take so you can practice receiving. If you are in the habit of deflecting it is going to take some practice to receive. That's OK, set your intention to receive fully and you will start the process of change. I'm going to use the gift of a compliment. It is small and easier to receive than some larger ways people can give to you.

Pick a scenario that you had recently where someone gave you a compliment and in some manner you deflected it, so you didn't take it in. Use that scenario to go through the following steps as the event originally occurred. Then go through the process a second time and create a different outcome where you received the compliment completely.

How to Receive a Compliment

1. Pause and simply notice how you respond. Where do you feel the compliment in your body? How does it feel? Is it tight, pleasant, or painful?
2. Pause before your reply, take a deep breath let it out and smile.
3. Look the other person in the eyes and say "Thank you", that's all. When you learn to accept receiving you can add more than Thank you.
4. Completely take the compliment in, let it run through your body and mind. Feel the energy. Soak it up. How does your body feel now? Is it energized? Dwell in the moment.
5. Replay the compliment in your mind a couple of times after it's given and appreciate the gift the person gave you and appreciate yourself for being able to receive it completely and with grace.

Receiving is an integral part of living a passionate life and living with fulfillment. Sign up for my free PDD report now and start living a passionate life now.

Find a Mentor and Coach to Assist You

Designing a passionate life can be much easier when you find a mentor to assist you. No matter what your passion is, finding a mentor to help you move forward can move you towards living your passions much faster and easier. When you are clear about what you want to focus your attention on, then I would suggest that you find a coach and a mentor.

I see these roles very differently. A coach can assist you in working through your blocks and your fears and also holds you accountable and gives you techniques to keep moving forward. A mentor is someone who is an expert in the area in which you want to focus.

A mentor knows the ins and outs of your passion and knows the exact action steps to take to get you to where you want to go. For example, if you want to advance your career in the corporate world in a specific field, you want to find a mentor who has been very successful at this and can help you identify the next action steps for you to take. If your passion is to lead a volunteer committee in your community, find a mentor who knows how to do this. If you want to start a business online, find a mentor who knows how to do this.

The list is endless. There is always someone out there who can help you to identify the exact action steps you need to move you towards living your passions. A coach is an integral part of your success as well. A coach partners with you to hold your vision, success, keeps you on track and holds you accountable.

Take that first step now and sign up for my free PDD report and start living a passionate life now.

How to Choose Between Passions

Designing a passionate life sometimes requires you to make choices between passions. What a great problem to have!! You are clear about your passions, you are living them, and they are bumping up against each other. When this happens, rejoice in the fact that you are living your passions. When you are clear about your passions, it is easier to make decisions that support you in living them. But what do you do when two of your top five passions clash? How do you choose between them?

This happened to me recently and it was an interesting question for me in the moment. I was presented with the choice of working in my business or spending time with my husband outside enjoying summer fun. Both of these are in my top five passions. I immediately noticed that I felt some conflict. One part of me wanted to say no because I was so excited about what I was doing in my business. And another part of me really wanted to spend time with my husband. What do you do when this happens?

It happened in an instant for me. I noticed the conflict within me immediately and just let it be. I didn't judge it in any way; I let the decision come to me. Rather than using my intellect, I followed my intuition. Ultimately, my commitment to my husband and our relationship outweighs my commitment to my business. I chose to spend time with my husband. We had a great picnic and enjoyed our time together in the park. It was a great way to take a break and let my creative juices get regenerated.

If you find yourself in this same conflict ask yourself the following questions:

• What action feels right to me, right now? (not what "should" I do)
• What are the consequences if I choose one passion over the other? Can I live with that consequence?
• What does my heart tell me to do?
• What commitments have I made that I must honor?

Give yourself some time to ponder these questions and then simply let the answer come to you. Your intuition will lead you to your answer. Celebrate that you are bringing change to your life by living your passions and living a more fulfilled life.

Take the next step and sign up for my free PDD report and find out what you can do to start living a passionate life.

Connecting with Family

Designing a passionate life includes activities with families, which gives life meaning. I was reminded of this recently when I attended my husband's family reunion in St. Louis. People came from all over the country to gather and reconnect. The event was born because one young lady who connected with her cousin on Facebook, realized that she didn't really know her cousin.

I realize that Facebook can take a lot of time if you let it. However, if you use it wisely and in moderation it can be a great tool to connect with family and friends. In this case, it caused the creation of the family reunion, which connected people from all over the country in person. The event brought to my mind our need to connect with each other, share family history, and stories. It appears that it may be an annual event.

What people also realized at the family reunion is that many of the family stories are dying with the older relatives. The desire to keep the stories and family history recorded was evident. Not only do we have a need to connect but we also want to know about our lineage. Where did we come from? Who were the people who came before us. What were their hopes, dreams, and desires? How did they meet each other? What were they passionate about?

How have you documented your family history? What stories have you collected about your family? Do you have a family photo album? What is the legacy you want to leave behind for your children and their children? Attract the life you want by designing a passionate life right now. Sign up for my free PDD report and get started now.

Shortening Your 'To Do' List

Designing a passionate life requires that you recognize what is important in your life and consistently choose in favor of those things. I'm sure you can relate to the demands of your career or business and that you are committed to being successful in it. However, if your commitment to your career or business puts your health, state of mind, or relationships on the back burner, you are jeopardizing all of them. It's really easy to want it all and as a result have a 'To Do' list that is a mile long.

There are only so many hours in a day and you only have so much energy. You may be able to get the things on your 'To Do' list done in the short term, but keeping it up indefinitely will become a challenge. At some point in time, the fire behind your passion will burn out. To avoid this from happening, you need to keep a short 'To Do' list and make it achievable. Don't loose sight of what is important to you and remember why you are working in your career or business. More than likely it is to support your family so that you can enjoy time together.

Easy to say but how do you shorten your 'To Do' list. Start by asking yourself the following questions about the items on your 'To Do' list and cross them off your list:

• Which items do not support my passions?
• Which items are on my list in order to please others?
• Which items are on my list in an effort to make others like me?
• Which items are on my list in an effort to be perfect?
• Which items on my list are 'shoulds'?
• Which items on my list drain my energy?

You will be amazed at the amount of time that will free up when you drop these items from your 'To Do' list. Focus your attention on what is more important and before you make a commitment ask yourself: By making this commitment, will it take me closer to the things I love, or farther away?

Designing a passionate life is a series of choices that create the life that supports you and your passions. Start now by signing up for my free PDD report.

How to Deepen Connections

In my last post I mentioned that we are social beings that need connection. We crave connection with other people for a variety of reasons. For approval, a sense of belonging, confirmation, curiosity, learning, fulfillment, love, companionship, and many other reasons. Each of us connects to meet our own needs.

The methods for connecting can vary widely. You can connect through friends, social media, sports, spiritual communities, common interest groups, job related groups, political affiliations, or neighborhoods. Again, the methods to make that first connection vary widely and everyone uses the methods that work for them.

After the initial connection is made with a community of some sort, I've always found that I seem to connect more with two or three people in the community. I know fairly quickly who I connect with and with whom I want to deepen our connection. I've found many long lasting deep connections with people in these different communities.

No matter what methodology you use, the way you deepen connections is the same in any friendship. 

How do you deepen connections?

• Be totally present when you listen to your friends. Hear what they are saying and what they aren't saying. In other words, don't be thinking about what you are going to say but really take in what they are saying and if you are face to face, what their body language is saying. Read between the lines.
• Be curious about the other person and ask open ended questions such as: What were you feeling when that happened? How did you handle it? What is your next step? I'm not clear about XYZ, what did you mean exactly? How did you prepare for that? What went through your mind when you heard that?
• Acknowledge what they are telling you. If a friend is sharing an accomplishment, celebrate it with them. Don't let them minimize the accomplishment. Congratulate them. Think about how you would want your friend to respond if you had great news and respond in kind. If they are sharing a deep sadness or hurtful experience ask them: How can I support you right now? How are you going to support yourself through this experience?
• Be supportive, but don't support the story. There is a fine line between supporting a friend and enabling the friend to dwell in the story. It's really easy to get into the details of the story. This simply makes your friend feel worse and it pulls you right down with them. It's important to listen and be supportive but sometimes your friend can unknowingly be asking you to support their misery. This does not serve them or you. They need to feel their feelings and then move on. The timeline varies from person to person. You will know when you have had enough of the story. Gently nudge them to take forward action.
• Be a good friend. A good friend is someone you can trust, be vulnerable with, and with whom you can share your thoughts and feelings. Be very aware of this precious gift of friendship and always honor the trust your friend has given you. Nurture it, grow it, and appreciate it and it will last a lifetime.

How can you deepen your connection to your passions? Sign up for my free PDD report and find out how to get started.

How do You Create Connections?

Designing a passionate life includes connection. The process of living your passions includes connecting with people along the way. Life is a series of connections. One form of connection that I find fascinating is the enormous popularity of social media that includes Twitter, Facebook, MySpace, and others. So why is social media so popular?

The answer is that it provides a form of connection. We are social beings and crave connection to other people. We consciously or unconsciously look for connections with people. The reasons for connecting may include to:

• create a community
• be heard
• be acknowledged
• create a level of intimacy
• find people of like minds
• find common purpose
• find answers
• share information and resources

These are some of the reasons but at the core of all of them is the need to connect and deepen the relationship. It is this need that I think drives the popularity of social media websites. It's not uncommon for families and friends to live all over the world and communicate through traditional means of the telephone, e-mail, and snail mail. But it is a slow and infrequent process. However, with the advent of social media you have the ability to stay connected easily and instantly.

You can find friends that you haven't seen in years and reconnect and nurture old friendships. You can stay connected with the day to day activities of family and friends' lives. You can also find new friends that you share a common purpose with.

Social media does not limit you to the geography of where you live. People who live in remote areas can be a part of a global community through social media and feel that connection they long for. Life takes on more meaning through connection. You don't feel alone.

Use the methodologies you feel comfortable with and create a community that supports you in living your passions. How can you create a community of people with the same passion and support each other in that passion? Start your journey to living your passions by signing up for my free PDD report.

How to Listen Effectively

Designing a passionate life includes the ability to listen. The process of following your passions is not something you can do alone. Other people will assist you in living your passions. In order for people to assist you, you must use effective listening. Communication is the process of delivering a message to another person and the person receives the message by listening, which completes the process.

Listening is a powerful skill and one that can be learned. I've often notice people who hear, but don't listen. People hear the words a person is saying but  they are not assimilating and understanding the meaning of the words being said. Listening has not occurred and therefore, neither has communication.

Methods of Listening

• Point of View - In this method, the listener is hearing the words and thinking about ways to respond to get their point of view across. The listener is not interested in the other person's viewpoint. They are looking for holes or things that they don't agree with so that they can present their viewpoint. This method can create a competitive type of environment resulting in a negative experience and at times, a resulting argument.

• Hearing but not Listening - In this method, the listener is either not present or is hearing the words and either thinks they understand. The listener is not really interested in the other person's point of view, is distracted by other things (for example, cell phone, mp3 player, TV, radio etc) or the listener thinks they understand the message but doesn't ask any questions to confirm understanding.

• Listening with Curiosity - In this method, the listener hears the words being said and asks questions with genuine curiosity about the other person's viewpoint even if it is very different from their own. The listener asks questions and reflects information back to the speaker to clarify understanding so that they are clear about the intended message. This level of communication can create deep connections with people. People know when you are genuinely curious about their message and appreciate your attentiveness.

How to Listen Effectively

• The most effective method is to listen with curiosity. You do this by asking questions when you don't understand what the person is saying. Reframe the statement in the form of a question.
• Reflect statements back to the person in your own words. If the person said something that you don't understand then restate it in words that you understand and ask them if that is what they were saying.
• Listen for the emotions behind the words and ask questions. You may say something like, it sounds like I'm hearing a lot of anger about this, is that correct? If they say yes, ask them to tell you what they are angry about.
• Maintain eye contact. There is nothing more distracting and dismissive than people who will not look you in the eye when you are sharing something you are passionate about.
• Recognize when to respond to a question. Often times, people will start a conversation with a question but they are not really looking for an answer. It is their methodology for starting a conversation. I often times will ask them if they want me to answer the question or not.
• Set your intention to listen with an open heart and be totally present. Everyone wants to be heard and there is nothing more rewarding than having a discussion with someone who is totally present and willing to hear your point of view.

What kind of listener are you? What kind of listener do you want to be? How would your life change if you listened effectively? What connections would occur if you were truly curious about other people's viewpoints? Sign up for my free PDD report and start the journey of following your passions.

Learning from Failing

Designing a passionate life will include failures along the way. Being clear about your passions and setting goals for living your passions will include failure. How you respond to the failure is a measure of your mindset. You can learn a lot from failure. It all depends on how you choose to look at the failure.

Every failure brings an opportunity for learning. It can also give you different ideas on how to try again but with a different approach. Remember, living passionately is enjoying the journey along the way. It isn't all about the destination nor is it a straight line to the destination. Often times after failing you can get a big ah-ha and your life takes off in a new direction that you would never have thought of if you had succeeded.

Every successful person has failed more times than they have succeeded. Thomas Edison ran over 50,000 experiments before he got the light bulb to work. That is focus, persistence, and holding to your vision. People are afraid to fail because of possible ridicule, a lack of conviction, commitment, and confidence in their goal. It all comes down to mindset. Successful people embrace failure. They use it to learn and move forward.

I think our society has created such a strong image of 'successful' people that all we see is the end result. We rarely are told about all of the failures along the way. Successful people are passionate about what they do, they are focused and committed.

How committed are you to living a passionate life? Sign up for my free PDD report and get started now.

How Well Do You Know Your Family?

Designing a passionate life includes family. A family can include blood relations or a family of your own making. Either way, I often hear people say things like 'my family doesn't understand me' they don't really know me. My response is - how well do you know your family members?

If you don't make an effort to get to know and understand them, then how can you expect the same from them. As in any relationship, communication is the key. If you feel like your family doesn't understand you, ask yourself the following questions:

How clearly have I expressed my thoughts and feelings with my family?
How do I express myself with my family, with anger, frustration, or openness?
What is each member of my family passionate about?
What dream does each member of my family have?
What values do each member of my family hold?
How open am I to getting to know my family members?
How open am I to letting them get to know me? 
How willing am I to make a connection with each member in my family?

Start a dialog with just one member, maybe the one that you feel the most connected to. Make an effort to get to know them, ask questions, be curious.

I wonder what would happen if you got to really know and understand your family members. Start living passionately and sign up for my free PDD report now.

What NOT to Wear

Designing a passionate life requires self-esteem. I was watching a show called "What not to Wear" and in the show they perform make-overs on women. The women have been submitted to the show by family and friends and then are 'surprised' when the TV host and hostess show up at their doorstep. I love fashion so I find it interesting from that viewpoint but what I noticed is the internal change that goes on for many of these women.

I still believe that building self-esteem is an inside out job. You start with self-reflection and really understanding who you are, your passions, and how you want to express yourself in the world. However, what I've noticed on this show is that often times the make-over gives these women a new way of looking at themselves. Very often they receive very strong fashion and character advice from the hosts. 

Most times the ladies on the show look terrible and they don't give their clothes or how they look much thought. What comes to my mind, is that they have low self-esteem and many of them have admitted this to the hosts. I see the make-over as the nudge they needed to take that first really big step into who they are.

What nudge do you need to start loving who you are, living your passions, and expressing your full potential in the world? Take a look in the mirror and if you don't like what you see, then start with the external picture and work from the outside in. However, don't stop there, that's just the first step. The external is just a shell and no matter how well put together it is, the internal has to match to keep the outside looking good.

Take that first step and sign up for my free PDD report today. Start living passionately.

Setting Expectations in Romantic Relationships

Designing a passionate life for some, may include a romantic relationship. If so, then how do you set expectations for your relationship? What do you expect to give to your partner and what do you expect in return? Have you ever sat down and actually thought about what you want out of a relationship or is it a foggy vision in your head? Foggy visions produce foggy results.

Clarity about what you expect out of a relationship will enable you to really understand what you want and to verbalize it. So many times people enter into a relationship without any conversation about what they want to contribute and receive from the relationship and then they are disappointed because the other person "doesn't know" what you want or what to give.

Nobody is a mind reader and believing that someone should "know" is only setting you up for disappointment. The conversation about expectations has to be two way and an agreement reached on both sides. If you have an expectation that the other person can't deliver, then you have to decide if you can live without that expectation being met. This is the tricky part, because early on in the relationship you may think that you can live without a particular expectation being met. Then as time goes on you begin to resent the other person because your expectation isn't being met.

That's why some self-introspection is important before you decide on a romantic relationship. You have to be clear about what is negotiable and what isn't negotiable. As one of my friend's said to me, if my ABC expectation isn't met 'that's a deal breaker'. She's clear and if she sees early on in the relationship that it's not happening after a heart to heart conversation, she ends the relationship and moves on. It may seem a bit harsh, but it saves both of you a lot of time and energy. There are times when one person in the relationship can not give what the other persons wants.

Take some time and go within and write down the values you want in a relationship, write down the 'deal breakers', get clear and have a talk with your partner. Design your passionate relationship together.

Designing a passionate life requires clarity and if relationship is part of your design, then get crystal clear on what you want. Sign up for my free PDD report now and start designing your passionate life.

The Effects of Complaining

Designing a passionate life includes no complaining. Why is that? Have you ever been around someone who complains about EVERYTHING!! I'm sure you have and it is NOT a pleasant experience. That person drains the very life energy from an event or gathering. It also takes a lot of energy on the part of the complainer. They are so busy complaining that they fail to notice what does works about the event. Their focus is on what doesn't work for them rather than what does work.

I never fully appreciated the idea of no complaining until I traveled on several trips abroad with my church. The minister had one rule and that was 'no complaining'. When traveling abroad, things will go wrong, schedules will get changed, things get lost, you eat new foods, and usually can't speak the language. There is ample opportunity to complain. What I noticed on these trips is that everyone honored that rule. If someone slipped, they were gently reminded about the rule. It made the entire trip much more pleasant and the energy level was one of cooperation and finding solutions.

I have found that when I'm exposed to a complainer that my energy level is drained. I try to point out the good things that are happening, which isn't always appreciated. I've also noticed that complainers are generally pretty miserable. They definitely have no passion for life, how could they, they find fault with everything. When people start to complain in a group, you can be sure that it will catch on like wild fire and the energy of the group will be sucked into the vacuum of complaining.

Are you a complainer?
Start to notice and ask yourself these questions:
When do I complain? How often? What do I complain about? How do I feel when I complain? How do people respond to me when I complain?

How to Reduce Your Complaining

• Notice it - the first level of awareness is to recognize when you are doing it.
• Stop it - when you notice yourself complaining, stop.
• Focus on what works - after you stop complaining, find something positive about the situation and say it out loud.
• Notice how you feel when you switch gears from complainer to solution and possibility finder.

If you are complaining that you can't follow your passions, then you probably won't. It is a choice to do so. Stop complaining and sign up for my free PDD report now.

Which of Your Behaviors Make You Feel at Peace?

Designing a passionate life consists of a number of behaviors from minute to minute, from hour to hour and day to day. Your entire day is made up of how you act and respond to different situations. Your life is made up of behaviors. Are you consciously choosing your behaviors throughout the day or reacting without thought? How do you want your behaviors to feel?

If you want your behaviors to give you a sense of peace, then start by noticing them. How would you respond in some of the following examples?

If a driver cuts you off on the road, how do you behave? Do you rant and rave, or simply wonder why that person is in such a hurry? Which would give you more peace?

How do you listen to your spouse? Are you defensive or do you listen with an open heart and mind? Which would give you more peace?

When a co-worker makes a mistake, do you huff and puff or simply point out the mistake and suggest a solution? Which would give you more peace?

What if a good friend lets you down? Do you get angry, pout and refuse to talk to them until they apologize or do you explain to them how you feel as a result of this and ask him or her to explain? Which would give you more peace?

Reacting with anger, frustration, and annoyance drains you of energy and leaves you feeling hollow. Connect with your inner wisdom and ask for guidance in your response to different scenarios as they arise throughout the day. You may surprise yourself. I know that you will save a lot of energy by choosing to behave differently. Don't take my word for it, try it and see how you feel.

I would love to hear the results of those of you who give this a try. Please feel free to comment on this post after you try it.

Part of living a passionate life is making conscious choices about our behavior from one minute to the next. When are you going to start living in alignment with your passions? Sign up for my free PDD report and start now.

How to Overcome Procrastination

Designing a passionate life requires that you eliminate procrastination from your life. If you truly want to follow your passions, be inspired to take action and create the life you envision, there is no room for procrastination. It will stop you in your tracks and nothing will change and you will wonder why nothing ever changes.

What is procrastination?
Procrastination is defined as intentionally or habitually putting off something that you should do. That hits the mark. Procrastination is an excuse for not taking action and it works. Those who have perfected the act of procrastination are extremely creative when it comes to reasons for not taking action. Any of these sound familiar?
I am too tired.
I don't have time.
I don't know what to do.
I don't have the time or the energy to do this.
I don't want to do this.
I deserve a break.

What do you say to yourself when you procrastinate?

Why do people procrastinate?
People procrastinate for one reason, out of fear. The reasons for the fear can vary depending upon the situation and each person's self-talk. One person may be afraid of failing, and another person may be afraid of succeeding. People may have fears related to what other people will say or think. You don't want to look foolish, you don't want people to laugh at you, you're afraid your family won't support you. The reasons for the fear are very real and the list is endless.

The reality is that procrastination stops you cold. You can make plans, set goals, and intend a lot, but until you take action, nothing will change.

How do you stop procrastinating?
The first step to eliminating procrastination, is to be very honest with yourself and notice when you are doing it. When do you find yourself making excuses for not doing something you promised yourself you would do?

Step 1
Notice: Pick a week and notice when you don't get things done that you promised yourself you would. Write down the reasons you gave for not getting them done. What patterns do you see? What types of things did you procrastinate about? Did you ever do any of the tasks you procrastinated about? If so, how did you feel as you did them? How did you feel when you were done with them?

Step 2
Go Deeper: After you have a list of the things you procrastinate about, read each item on the list and really get back into the feeling of the procrastination in the moment when you were resisting taking action. What were you feeling in that moment? What emotion is beneath the inaction? See if you can spot an underlying theme to your procrastination.

Step 3
Clear the limiting belief: Because procrastination is caused by fear, then it follows that you have a limiting belief that is keeping you from taking action. After you discover the underlying limiting belief, then use some tools to eliminate that belief. You could use "The Work" by Byron Katie, The Sedona Method, or Emotional Freedom Technique.

Step 4
Reallocate Your Resources: Think about the time, energy, and money that procrastination costs you. if you reallocated all of those resources into action, your life would look very different. Use that time, and energy you use for procrastination to move you forward into action. Use your desire to live your passion to inspire you into action.

What is it costing you in terms of the amount of energy it takes to procrastinate? What is it costing you in terms of living your passions? Is it worth it? Stop procrastinating right now, and sign up for my free PDD report.

How to Believe in Yourself

Designing a passionate life requires belief in yourself, your inner guide, and the process. The first step is to decide that you want your life to look differently and that you want to be passionate about your life. This requires clarity.

Develop a Vision
One thing is for sure, if you don't know what your passions are and you don't know what you want your life to look like, you will end up with exactly what you have. Maybe it's pretty good. That's great, but can it be better? If it isn't so great, what don't you like about it?

Without a clear idea of what it means to you to live passionately, you will not know what to focus on or what to take action on and as a result, you won't believe in yourself. In order to believe in yourself, you have to have a vision and believe in your vision and then decide to go after your vision.

Start a Gratitude Journal
It's really easy to get caught up in the, when I have this, I'll be happy syndrome. Life is happening while you are making plans. Recognize what you have right now. Prove it to yourself, write it down. What are you grateful for right now. Don't just verbalize it, for one week, write down 10 things every day that you are grateful for. You can't repeat anything from day to day. So you'll end up with 70 unique items that you are grateful for.

Have a Conversation with Your Inner Guide
Call on your inner guide. If you are upset, then get mad, get it out, and scream if you want to. Let the emotions fly. Just make sure no one else is around or they may think you've lost it. After you express your emotions, ask for answers, love, and guidance. Perhaps you'll notice a shift in your thoughts. If this approach doesn't work for you, then use journaling or meditation.

Establish a Daily Practice
What your life looks like is the result of a thousand small thoughts and resulting actions each day. Just imagine if you could change one or two of those thoughts and actions each day. How different would you life be? Designing a passionate life is a mindset. If you want change to occur, then decide to change. Perhaps your daily practice is to meditate, write in your gratitude journal, pray, or listen to uplifting music. Design a practice that uplifts you and keeps you positive and in the flow.

You will be amazed how you will start to believe in your vision and your ability to make those changes. It doesn't happen by accident. You make it happen.

Sign up for my free PDD report and find out why passion is so important in our lives.

Why Do People Resist Change?

If you are truly going to design and live a passionate life then you are going to have to make some changes. Some changes will feel good and will be easy to make. Other changes may feel daunting and not as easy to make. You have a choice in how you want to live your life. Are you open to doing the changes that need to occur for this to happen?

What is change?
The meaning of the word 'change' is to make radically different or to make a shift from one to the other. The level of change can range from very small to very large and usually the amount of resistance is proportionate to the level of change. For example, if you're used to taking a certain route to work and the State does some road construction that results in a new route to work, it's irritating but not life altering. You can deal with this change and adjust rather quickly. However, if the change in route adds an extra hour and 40 additional miles to your trip, this can have a significant affect on your lifestyle. You would have a high resistance to this change.

Why do people resist change?
The number one reason why people resist change is because it removes them from their routine and most times out of their comfort zone, which results in fear. Routine is a very comfortable place to live and when it's disturbed on purpose or by chance, you can get thrown off balance. Think about when you drive to a new part of the city and the roads are unfamiliar, you get nervous. However, you do it because you want to reach your destination.

Think back to when you were growing up and all of the things you had to learn. It was often times very uncomfortable and not fun. You didn't want to look funny, you didn't feel safe, you were afraid people would laugh at you, you were afraid you would fail, or you didn't feel supported by those you love. As adults we don't want to experience any of these things either.

When you don't change, you stay in the same place and are stagnant and begin to feel the affects. Sometimes the mere thought of making a change in our lives can throw us off both mentally and physically. This is often times a scary place to be and we long for the way it was or we want to stay right where we are and not 'rock the boat'.

The questions to ask yourself are - Am I passionate about my life? If not, how committed am I to changing it?

How can you embrace change?

• Recognize that you aren't passionate about your life and decide to make changes. You can't keep doing things the same way and expect different results. You must change your mindset and your actions.
• Get very clear about your passions.
• See the possibilities, envision it. Make the vision clearer and clearer.
• Determine where to start. You can start with very small changes that are easy to make or you can go for the big change. It all depends on how quickly you want the change to occur and how committed you are to making the change.
• See the change as an adventure rather than something to fear. How can you make the change interesting and easy? Come up with some possible ideas and implement the one that feels good.
• Get support in making the change. Hire a coach, find a mentor, or form a Mastermind group.

Take the first step and sign up for my free PDD report and find out why passion is so important in your life.

Why is Forgiveness Necessary?

Part of designing a passionate life is to do your forgiveness work. You may be wondering what this has to do with living a passionate life. To me, living a passionate life includes freedom and until your forgiveness work is done, you are not free. Forgiveness is the conscious decision to be free of bitterness, fear, anger, resentment, and thoughts of revenge. It is a process and it takes time.

I heard a young woman interviewed on Oprah who was recently released from 18 years of prison for killing her father because he raped and abused her all of her life. She is now 36 years old. Oprah asked her if she forgave her father and her response was yes, and I've forgiven myself for taking his life. She also said that if you don't forgive you are living in a cage, whether or not you are surrounded by bars. Her case was an extreme one but it clearly points out the power of forgiveness. Because she has done her forgiveness work, she is able to be free emotionally, physically, and move forward. With her freedom, she has intends to help eliminate abuse and rape.

When you don't do your forgiveness work it means that you are still giving away your power to the person who hurt you and you are draining yourself of energy because you relive the event over and over again. We all have someone in our lives to forgive. It may not be for the extreme reasons of this young woman but it is still necessary. Forgiveness does not condon the actions of the other person nor your own if you are the one you want to forgive. Forgiveness work frees you from the anger, fear, or bitterness that you are holding onto when you don't forgive. 

The first step to forgiveness is to decide to forgive. The power of this decision alone leads you on a path to change beliefs and actions that have caused you more pain. Forgiveness will take time and the path is unique to every person. Start the process by looking at the circumstances of the event as facts, your part in the event, how it has affected your life, and your peace of mind. How much more energy, time, and emotion do you want to give to the event?

To assist you in the forgiveness process you can use prayer, meditation, or journaling. You may want to talk to a trusted friend, family member, spiritual advisor, or therapist. The key is to move through the emotions you are feeling. You may also want to reflect on times when you have hurt others. You may even develop a sense of compassion for the other person. Try to see the event from the other person's point of view.

Examine your life and list the people in your life who you want to forgive. Decide which ones to forgive first. Start your journey to freedom and living passionately. Sign up for my free PDD report and learn about the benefits of living your passions.

How to Thrive in a Relationship

Designing a passionate life requires thriving relationships in all areas of your life. The relationship I want to focus on today is people who already have a long-term romantic partner. If your relationship is feeling a little stale or routine, you may be ready to take your relationship to the next level and thrive.

I believe that there is no set formula for what a thriving relationship looks like. I think it is up to the individuals in the relationship to create the vision for the couple and determine what thriving looks like for them. This being said, there are some things that each person can do to contribute to create a thriving relationship. Determine what it means to you to have a thriving relationship. Have both people in the relationship answer the following questions alone and write down your answers. Be specific.

Answer these questions:

• What do you love about your partner?
• What attracted you to him/her in the first place?
• What emotions do you experience when you think of, or are with your partner?
• What activities do you share and what new activities would you like to add?
• How do you express your love to the other person?
• How does your partner express his/her love for you?
• How can you deepen your connection?
• Which of your values are being honored in your relationship?
• Which of your values are not being honored and how does that feel to you?
• What spiritual practice do you share with your partner?
• What does a perfect day that you share with your partner look like?
• What does the next level of emotional and physical intimacy for your relationship look like?
• What level of independence do you experience in your relationship? Do you want more or less?

After you have both written down your answers, share them and then answer them again as a couple. Find out where you connect with each other and where you don't connect. Target the areas where you want to make changes, decide on action items that move you towards your vision of thriving.

Take that first step on living a passionate life by signing up for my free PDD report today.

Using Beliefs to Support Your Vision

Beliefs can block you from moving forward or can act as the building blocks to energize you to move forward and take action. Your beliefs directly affect the choices and decisions that you make every day of your life. They in turn affect your attitudes and feelings.

After you recognize limiting beliefs that stop you from taking action, you have the choice to change those beliefs. It isn't an easy process but one that you can do in small steps. Some of it has to do with the language that you use. If you find yourself using disempowering language like "I can't" then more than you will make that the reality. Try changing your language to "I won't" and then to "I will". These are small steps but these words change the energy and how you feel towards the action that you want to take.

Try it out. What is one thing that you want to do and are avoiding? For example, perhaps you want to start exercising daily and you've decided to start on Monday. Monday arrives and the day progresses and it gets late. You find yourself saying, "I can't exercise now, it's too late." Try changing this to "I won't exercise now, it's too late." This is really the truth. You found all sorts of other things to fill your day rather than exercising as you promised yourself you would. You are in the driver's seat and the fact is you won't exercise.

You are at choice in what you believe about yourself, others, and your ability to design and create a passionate life. If you believe that you can create a passionate life, then you will. If you believe that you can't then you won't. You are at choice in what you believe. If you are not choosing empowering beliefs, your limiting beliefs are running the show. When you notice yourself making choices that disempower you, ask yourself "What is stopping me from doing this? What do I believe?" then ask yourself "What do I choose to believe?"

Being willing to implement new beliefs is the starting point. You can create a new belief by writing down the limiting belief and then writing a more positive version of it. You want the new belief to be something that you can actually believe. If you make it too big, your unconscious mind will not buy it and it will not serve you.

After you write the new belief, state it and feel the power of that new belief, and acting on that belief. When you start to believe the first rewrite and act on it, then write it again and make it bigger, and act on it. Create the new belief in stages. With enough repetition you start to integrate your new belief and it becomes a part of you.

What new belief do you want to put into place to empower you to start living a passionate life? Sign up for my free PDD report and find out what actions you can take now.