Designing a Passionate Life

Creating Energizing Relationships

Designing a passionate life includes having energizing relationships. This includes all of your relationships, friends, family, partner, co-workers, community and any other people that touch your life. The longer I live the more that I find that my life centers around my relationships with others. Without these relationships my life would be boring and unfulfililng.

At times, I feel like I would like to go find a cave and live there for the peace and quiet but I soon realize that I would go stir crazy and would not find it fulfilling at all. We all are affected by the energy around our relationships, the good and the not so good. For me, part of living a passionate life is to optimize my relationships with everyone in my life and feel energized by my interactions with them, not drained. This can have its challenges but it also has its rewards.

Think about it, what drains you the most about your day? My guess would be the interactions with other people. What do you think would happen if you could be in the flow and work with other people without resistance or negative thoughts about them entering your head? Sound like a pipe dream? Not really. The people who challenge you the most are the ones who have the most to teach you and from whom you can learn the most.

How to Create Energizing Relationships
When in a challenging conversation with a person, ask yourself: What is his or her point of view in this circumstance? If you don't know, then ask. Get clarity, don't guess. You can make up stories all day and without asking all you've got are the stories you make up. You can create a story that you walk around with for years that is simply not true. Find out and then ask more questions after you know. Be curious.

What aspects of the person that challenges you would you like to have a drop of in you? For example, this person keeps asking questions continuously until he is clear on what you want from him. Is there a part of you that would like to ask more questions but feels awkward doing so?

When you are in a loving partner relationship and your partner does something to break your trust ask yourself: Who was he/she trying to protect? What would I have done? How did I contribute to this person breaking the trust between us?

In order to live passionately in all of your relationships you need to be clear about your part in the relationship success or failure. Start to notice the things you say, do, and think about the "problem" person or persons in your life and make a list of the characteristics of the person(s) that you find beneficial. There is always at least one thing that is beneficial. My experience has been that when I start seeing the other person differently and with a positive perspective, the relationships shifts positively.

Try it and see if you start to change your attitude towards this person and see if the relationship shifts. The change has to start somewhere and so why not with you? Start living passionately in all aspects of your life. Sign up for my free PDD report and see what you can do to get started now.

 

Recognizing the Highs and Lows of Life

Designing a passionate life is a continuous process and there will be ups and downs along the way. Have you been going along and really in the flow of living passionately and then there is either a bump or a wall that appears before you? I know I have and my first reaction is, I should be passionate about my life every day. That is a heck of a load to carry and really easy to get into the 'shame on me' mode, and that's not the place you want to hang out in.

Life is a rhythm and there are going to be highs and lows along the way. The secret is to be able to recognize when you are in a low time and give yourself space, loving care, and fun. The low times are a signal to you that you are not in the flow at the moment; you are in some sort of negative mental, emotional, or physical state. In other words you are in a contracted state, and it's time to take a break.

For some of us, the only way that we can give ourselves a break is if we get sick. That is not the type of break that I want to have. If I'm going to take time out, I want to be able to enjoy it. So the key is to recognize the symptoms early on and give yourself a break before you get sick or develop resistance to living your passion. The harder you push yourself the worse things are going to get. Have you ever experienced this? What happened when you continued to move forward?

My experience is that it was hard because I "willed" myself through the tasks at hand and they didn't turn out nearly as well as they would have if I had been more in the flow, I didn't enjoy myself in the process, and it felt hard and unfulfilling.

Ways to recognize when you are in a low time:

• You are not inspired to take action
• You have absolutely no creative ideas
• You don't get excited about living your passion
• Your thoughts are around what you don't have
• Taking action feels heavy

Make a list of the signals that come up for you when you reach a bump or a wall in the road. Learn to recognize these signals and immediately plan a break. Walk outside, meditate, spend time with family or loved ones, enjoy your hobby, or read. Do what ever re-energizes and reconnects you to your inner guide. You'll know what this activity is for you.

I would suggest that you put a meeting in your day planner to spend some time with yourself doing one of your favorite activities. This can help to even out some of those highs and lows. Remember, live is a journey and the idea is to enjoy the journey of living passionately.

Sign up for my free PDD report and find out what you can do to start living passionately.

Using Strategies to Move Forward

Designing a passionate life requires that you put strategies in place when you need to take action, create a new habit, or to remember something important to you. For example, you want to prepare for a speech that you are going to give to the local chamber of commerce regarding your business and you do not like writing speeches.

To accomplish this, you need to put a strategy together to ensure that this happens. At this point in time, you are scheduled to speak to the local chamber of commerce for 30 minutes at the specified date and time. There is nothing like a deadline to create forward momentum. The following information outlines the elements of a good strategy using the speech example. You can use these elements and apply them to anything that you want to accomplish.

The elements of a good strategy include:

1. Setting a deadline and creating some sort of consequence if you don't meet your deadline. In our example, if you aren't prepared by the meeting date and time, chances are that your presentation will sound less than professional.
2. Brainstorm alternatives for how to arrive at the outcome. In our example, you could brainstorm topic ideas, you could brainstorm the content with a co-worker, or you cold hire someone else to write your speech and then you edit it. If you don't have the time or like to write your own speech, paying someone to do it can relieve a lot of stress.
3. Set aside time in your day to take action on what you want to accomplish. In our example, you could set aside time to either write your speech or edit the speech you paid someone else to write. Chunk your time for working on your speech into small junks of time. Large junks of time to write can feel overwhelming and you could resist even attempting to write your speech. You may want to alternate the small amounts of time for writing with an activity that you really enjoy.
4. Create a support team who will champion you in your efforts. In our example, invite two or three friends or co-workers to listen to your speech and give you feedback to ensure that you are feeling confident for your upcoming speech to the local chamber of commerce.

You can use the elements of this strategy to create other strategies for things such as cleaning your office, updating your resume, networking, or giving gratitude throughout your day. I invite you to create your own strategies for what you want to create in your life. What is the next action step for you to move you towards living your passions? Sign up for my free PDD report and find out what you can do to move closer to living your passions.

Part 3: How to Clear Limiting Beliefs

Recognizing your limiting beliefs is a powerful first step to shifting and clearing them. The mere act of recognizing and naming them starts the shifting of the old belief and the power of the belief starts to diminish. Then you can clear the old belief and choose a new one that does support you.

Methods for Clearing Beliefs
When you are triggered by a person or event make time to journal about the event. Just let the words flow and see what comes up around the event. Notice your thoughts and what you write down.
Meditate about the event and ask yourself questions such as: What am I to learn from this? What do I believe about this scenario?
If a person triggers you, state what you don’t like about this person or what they did and then ask yourself: What belief is he or she reflecting back to me?

EFT - http://www.emofree.com/
EFT consists of tapping on key acupuncture points. It is an extremely powerful tool. I have used this on many occasions when beliefs come up for me and they seem to just disappear. The key to EFT is to find the emotion and the original event that triggered it, tap on it and then it releases it from your body. You can download a free booklet to learn how to use EFT.
 
Byron Katie - www.byronkatietheworkonline.com
She provides a worksheet that you complete about a thought or belief. You answer each of the questions about the thought, write it down and then ask four questions and turn it around. You answer the questions from your heart, not your head. The answers are your truth not someone else's truth.

After you write down your belief ask yourself these questions:

1. Is that true?
2. Can you absolutely know that’s true?
3. How do you react when you believe that thought? What happens?
4. Who would you be without that thought?

Turn the thought around.

Byron Katie Example:
Belief: John should be more loving.
Is that true?
Can you absolutely know that it’s true?
How do you react? What happens?
Who would you be without that thought? How would you treat John?

The turn arounds include:
John shouldn’t be more loving. What’s the reality? He isn't.
I should be more loving. This is as true or truer than John should be more loving.
I should love myself more. This is definitely true.

Sedona Method - www.Sedona.com
Created by Lester Levenson and brought into the world by Hale Dwoskin

Focus on your issue and feel what you are feeling in this moment. For example, I am not smart enough to do this.

1. Could I let this feeling go?
2. Would I?
3. When?

Repeat the four steps in the process until you notice a shift.
 
HeartMath - www.heartmath.org
You may or may not have heard of Heart Math. It is a wonderful organization that has done studies about the effect of emotions on our heart and the energy field that our heart produces. They are performing scientific studies to prove the connection between our brain and our heart.

They have developed some tools to help you experience coherence, which is the synchronization of our physical, mental and emotional systems and it can be measured using the devices that they have created. The more coherent you are, the less stress you will experience. Your brain and heart are working together.

Find a process that works for you and start noticing the difference when you clear your limiting beliefs.  Sign up for my free PDD report today and start down the path to living passionately.

 

 

Part 2: Identifying Limiting Beliefs

Designing a passionate life requires you to identify your limiting beliefs. Limiting beliefs can block you from moving towards your passions.The good news is that you are the creator of your beliefs. You create your beliefs as a result of putting meaning on an event or person.

The good news is that since you are the creator of your beliefs then you can change your beliefs. Identifying them is the first step to shifting or eliminating these limiting beliefs.

How will you know if you have beliefs working in your life that drain you or have a negative impact on your decisions? There are some signals that you may occur for some of you.

• You have very little energy
• You aren’t excited by life
• You are sick a lot
• You don’t feel at peace with yourself
• You don’t laugh very much
• You live in fear a lot of the time

Ways to Identify Limiting Beliefs

• Become the watcher in your life. What pushes your button? Notice when emotions come up. Notice when you overreact to something someone says to you or an event that occurs. These are all signs of a belief being triggered. When you notice this occur ask yourself: What is it, I’m not willing to feel? What am I not seeing?
• Notice patterns or themes that keep recurring in your life. What is the common denominator of those patterns? What aren’t you willing to see?
• If a person triggers you, then listen to yourself speak about this person. There is a clue to a hidden belief in what you say about others.
• Write down two of your passions and then write down what is preventing you from living those passions. Those are beliefs. Start to explore them, see if you can spot these beliefs in other areas of your life.

Examples of Limiting Beliefs

• If you work hard enough, you will be financially rewarded. If you have this belief you are going to find yourself working hard but perhaps not smart.
• You won’t make a lot of money working as an entrepreneur. With this belief, you are more than likely not going to start your own business. Or if you do, you may find ways to sabotage your success.
• I’m not lovable. If you believe this, you can’t possibly be open to other people entering your life. You could prove this over and over again by having a trail of failed relationships or no relationships at all.
• I’m not smart enough. You will prove this one in a variety of different circumstances. Notice the patterns as they occur.
• I don’t have what it takes. This could manifest as giving up easily.

Take some time and see if you can identify your limiting beliefs that appear in different areas of your life? Become the watcher. Sign up for my free PDD report and start living a passionate life.

 

Part 1: The Power of Beliefs

Because beliefs play such a major role in our lives, I'm writing a three part series of blogs on beliefs. This post is Part 1, which is The Power of Beliefs. Part 2 is Identifying Your Beliefs and Part 3 is Shifting Your Beliefs.

Beliefs run our lives, whether we are aware of our beliefs or not. Most people are consciously aware of only 10% of their beliefs, the rest are unconscious. To use an analogy, consider an iceberg. You only see a small fraction of the entire iceberg above the water (your conscious mind). The bulk of the iceberg is below the water (your unconscious mind).

As a result of this, sometimes it is difficult to uncover your unconscious beliefs. But there is a way to do this and that is the subject of another blog post.

Beliefs are stored in your body and mind. They are held in your body at the cellular level and that is why they are so powerful.

Beliefs cause mental barriers. If you believe something about yourself, another person, or a concept then you are not going to be open to other ideas that are in conflict with your belief. You have reinforced your beliefs throughout your lifetime by unconsciously proving them to be true. You do this by seeing, hearing and speaking about the information that supports your beliefs. This is something that everyone does, unconsciously.

For example, if you believe that Judy is obnoxious then you will interpret a lot of Judy’s behavior as overbearing and disruptive. On the other hand, if your friend Jim, thinks that Judy is outgoing and boisterous, he will experience Judy’s behavior as fun and full of life. Beliefs affect your perception so it's a direct result of the belief. Who is right? From Jim and Judy's perspectives, they are both right.

Many of the beliefs that we hold are the results of emotions that have not been addressed or expressed and as a result can affect the energy level and health of our bodies.

We all have a lot of ownership in our beliefs. Beliefs make us comfortable; they give us a container to work within. However, they get in the way when they block us; they drain us of our energy or make us sick.

What are the beliefs that are blocking you from living a passionate life? Sign up for my free PDD report and find out what you can do to start living a passionate life.

 

 

Part 2: Using Empowering Language Exercise

Designing a passionate life includes practicing empowering language. Now that you understand what empowering language is and how it energizes you, try this exercise and practice using empowering language. You may learn something about yourself and improve your communications with other people.

The use of "I" when speaking to other people and being responsible for your own emotions is a powerful way to communicate. Using "I" language combined with an appropriate tone will increase the receptivity of the other person. Try it and see what happens.

Empowering Language Exercise
Step 1: Pick two days of a week and set the intention to simply notice the words that you say to yourself. Which disempowering words did you use? How does it feel when you use these words? Write down the emotions that you experience when you use these words. In what context did you use these words? What is the message that you are sending to yourself? When did the use of these words start? What patterns did you notice?

Step 2: Pick one day to practice changing your language. Set the intention for the day to catch yourself every time you use a disempowering word or phrase and consciously choose to restate it with an empowering word, phrase, or question.

Step 3: At the end of the day, take some time to notice what happened. How hard was it for you to catch yourself using disempowering words? How many times did it happen? What patterns did you notice? How did it feel when you changed from disempowering language to empowering language?

Step 4: Spend some time with the answers to these questions and reflect on what you learned as a result of this exercise. How and what you speak is a direct reflection of your thoughts and beliefs and what manifests in the world for you that is and is not aligned with your passions.

Sign up for my free PDD report and start down the path of living your passions.

Part 1: Using Empowering Language

Designing a passionate life includes the practice of using empowering language. The words you say and the way you say them can either give energy or take energy away from you. Words convey underlying messages to your body's energy centers and can create physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual responses in you and in other people.

The origin of the language you use every day comes from many sources. For example in your childhood, you learned from listening to your parents, family members and other adults in your life as you were growing up. Your experiences throughout your life and observing other people and the media all contribute to the language that you use.

The language you use is a reflection of your perceptions of the world, your beliefs, and past experiences. Sometimes it is easy to uncover the beliefs or past experiences that disempower you by paying attention to the words you use. You become the watcher of your own thoughts and words.

Empowering language gives you energy and provides a space for health on all levels. Disempowering language drains you of your energy and often puts the blame on someone or something else that is outside of you. This implies to your unconscious mind that you have no power or say over what happens in your life. Disempowering language comes in the form of a question or statement.

Often times when you are in the middle of a stressful situation, you may find yourself asking, “what did I do wrong?” This is an example of disempowering language because it does not help you to see the possibilities of how to move forward. At times, it is important to understand how you arrived at the situation you’re in and you may want to explore the answer to this question so you can learn from it.

However, when you are looking for a way out of a situation, you want to ask yourself questions that will open you up to the possibilities and help you to move forward rather than look back and try to figure out how you got to where you are today. This drains your energy and you may get caught up in the blame game, which serves no one.

Take a look at the examples below of disempowering questions. Say them out loud and notice how you feel when you say them.
Disempowering questions
Why does this always happen to me?   
Why did this happen?
How come nothing ever seems to go right for me?
How come I always pick business ventures that are doomed to fail?

Try using the following empowering questions and notice the difference.
Empowering Questions
What are the possibilities here?
What am I not seeing?
What am I to learn from this situation?
What other point of view can I use to look at this situation?

Using "I" language is taking personal responsibility for your world, situation, and your choices. YOU are in the driver's seat, not someone or something outside yourself. Notice how often you use "you" rather than "I" when you are speaking about your emotions. When you use "I" language you will notice a difference in how you feel when talking to other people and you will notice a different response from them.

The following are examples of disempowering phrases that you may recognize. Say them out loud and notice how you feel when you say them. What are your disempowering phrases?
Disempowering phrases
I should
I can't
It's a problem
I have to
Life is hard
I hope.. 
I'll try 
I don't know how

Change these to the following empowering phrases
I could
I choose to
It's an opportunity
I desire to
Life is an adventure
I know
I intend
I can figure this out

What are the disempowering phrases and questions you use throughout the course of your day?

My next post is going to be an empowering language exercise that you can use to practice spotting your disempowering language. Start noticing what you say, and how you say it and see how it supports you in living your passions. For more information, sign up for my free PDD report.

Nuturing Yourself

Designing a passionate life is easier when you are self-centered. Before you get upset and stop reading, let me explain. By this I mean that you have to embrace and nuture you body, mind, and spirit so that you are honoring all of you and are energized enough to live your passions and serve all of the people in your life. We often get caught up in the idea that it is selfish to take care of ourselves. The reality is that it is selfish not to.

How can you serve your family, friends, co-workers, and customers if you are not healthy in all aspects of your being. If you are drained of all energy, your health is a mess, and your heart is not being fed, how can you possibly serve others to the best of your ability? It will be a minimal attempt at best and no one is going to be served.

Nurturing your relationship with yourself will serve you well when you are living a passionate life. When you are living a passionate life, your mind and heart are in synch with each other. This is the space you want to nuture, to assist you in making decisions, how you interact with people, and the next inspired steps to take.

Does this sound familiar to you? Do you make a list of all of your 'to dos' and if there happens to be a small slice of time left over, you give yourself maybe 30-60 minutes of self-care? That is not enough and you deserve more. You cannot sustain you body, mind, and spirit with this small amount of time. It has to be an ongoing practice that becomes a part of your daily routine. This will assist you with staying in touch with your passions.

5 Ideas for a Daily Practice

• Set an intention for each day, before you get out of bed. For example, I intend to have fun today.
• Set time aside to journal, either daily or 3-4 times per week.
• Set up an exercise schedule for at least 3-4 times per week. It can be as simple as a walk.
• Set up a time to meditate daily. It can be as short as five minutes. If you don't know how to meditate, learn. There are a number of ways to meditate that aren't about sitting still. There are moving meditations as well.
• Learn how to lovingly say 'no' when you feel your schedule getting full.

These are some ideas for you to get your creative juices flowing. Figure out what works for you and make it your own. Give yourself the gift of nuturing and re-energize yourself so that you are able to serve all of the people in your life.

Decide to take the first step to living passionately by signing up for my free PDD report.

Three Ways to Identify Your Passions

Designing a passionate life means that you have to actually determine what you are passionate about. For some people this is an easy task, for others it's a struggle. I have run across some people who are at a complete loss as to what they are passionate about. Unfortunately, this is probably more common than you think. However, it is not an impossible task. When you make the conscious choice to identify your passions you are on the road to designing a passionate life.

This isn't a one time process and then you are done. Your passions can and more than likely will change over time. Learning how to recognize what you are passionate about will serve you throughout your life and enable you to change your focus when necessary. Identifying your passions is the first step to clarity and designing the life you envision.

Before you start the process of identifying your passions, put aside the voice in your head telling you that this is outrageous, what are you thinking, you can't do this or what ever other favorite phrases your voice uses. This is your mind getting in the way. Your heart is craving to express itself in the world. Your job is to connect to your heart and hear what it has to say.

To get the most out of this experience, live totally in the realm of possibility. This is a brainstorming activity. This is an exercise to perform without your filter in place. When a thought appears, write it down. Don't try to figure out the "how to" right now. That is not what this exercise is about. This is about tapping into what gives you joy, what energizes you and see what comes up. Identify one week where you are going to focus on what you enjoy doing and write down your observations.

3 Ways to Identify Your Passions

Make a list of the things that you spend your free time on. What do you love to learn more about? What do you love to research and share with other people? What absolutely energizes you? What do you look forward to doing? Who do you like sharing time with?

Revisit your childhood dreams. Do any of your childhood dreams still appeal to you? What about them appeals to you? What emotion does it feed inside of you? What aspects about your childhood dreams still appeal to you?

For one week, write down the things that you do well and the things that are fun for you to do. As you go through your work day, notice what you like to do, what people are you glad to talk to. You took your job for some reason, so there must be some aspects of your job that you still enjoy. Notice them and write them down. If you don't have a job, notice what does give you joy during the day.

Compile a list of all of these items that you have observed over the week. The list can be as long as you like. Give yourself some quiet time and read the list out loud and notice how it makes you feel inside. Do you feel lighter or heavier when you read it out loud? Pay attention to the items that make you feel heavier. Are they truly passions or things you think are passions? Start to cross off the items that don't feel energizing to you. Use your list as the starting point for the possibilities of living a passion filled life.

The next step is to move forward and live your passions. Sign up for my free PDD report and see what else you can do about it.