Designing a Passionate Life

5 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

Designing a passionate life includes a thriving relationship with yourself. If you have ever felt like something was missing in your life, you don't feel fulfilled, or that you're not on the right path then perhaps what's missing is you. Our lives are so filled with building relationships with family, friends, and co-workers that we forget to nourish our relationship with ourselves. When this happens you can feel lost, off-center, and out of balance. It's very easy to give yourself to all of those you love and loose yourself in the process.

When this happens, it's time to regroup and make time for yourself. If your relationship with yourself is not thriving you will have a very difficult time nurturing your other relationships. You won't have the desire or the energy to put into those relationships. The good news is that you can do something about it. If you notice this in your own life try one or more of the following methods to reconnect with you again.

5 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

• Identify your passions. Get clear about what you love to do, what makes your heart sing. What gives you pleasure. Once you know what your passions are, you can focus on doing those things you love and removing the things from your life that drain you.
• Create a mastermind group. Gather a group of trusted friends who are all wanting to reconnect with themselves at a deeper level. I have a friend who meets with a group of ladies for years and they pick a spiritual or personal growth book to read and then gather to discuss once a month. You can design what the group does and you can set the ground rules.
• Spirituality. If this has fallen away from your life, reconnect to your spirituality. Study spiritual books, there are many traditions available to you. If you've never had one then explore with an open heart and find one that works for you. Perhaps you can find a community that supports you on your path to reconnecting with yourself.
• Mediation is a great tool to use. You don't have to meditate an hour to gain the benefits. There are many types of meditation available to you. There is the traditional meditation, moving meditation, visualizations, and others. Start small, don't try to go for a full hour the first time you meditate. In meditation, you start to notice your thoughts and become aware of what goes through your mind. It is eye opening.
• Journaling is another method of finding out more about yourself. Again, start small, you don't have to write a novel every time you write in your journal. Find a time to do this in you day and do it at the same time every day. The practice will open the flow of ideas and information deep within you.

Try one or more of these methods. Give it a chance. Try it for at least one month before you decide it is or isn't working. If one doesn't work, then move onto another one. The key to all of this is to make an appointment with yourself and keep it. You are just as important as any other person to whom you give your word. Start the journey of living passionately by signing up for my free PDD report now.

What Does Family Mean to You?

Designing a passionate life includes your relationship with your family and being of service. I just watched an episode of Extreme Makeover: Home Edition and is the case whenever I watch that show it touches me deeply. It really puts my life into perspective and I stop and list what I am grateful for. This particular episode was about a single father, age 54 raising five boys ranging in age from 14-19. Their mother left them 14 years ago and their father has raised them alone. They live in Camden, New Jersey, which is one of the poorest cities in the United States.

The family was living in the poorest of conditions and just putting food on the table was a struggle. What I noticed as I watched this family is the deep connection between the boys and their father. The complete appreciation, respect, and love they visibly showed for their father. Emotions were raw and openly expressed. The boys openly expressed love for their father and each other and acknowledged that family meant everything to them and kept them focused and on track. It was clear that by binding together they are a force that will succeed.

The neighborhood is riddled with drugs and poverty. What I saw was a father who was passionate about his family and who loved his boys above all else. I saw a man who let his boys know they were loved and helped keep his family focused on what they had, not on what they didn't have. Because of that love, his boys stay out of trouble and all of them want to have productive lives. Considering the environment in which they live, I believe that this is a powerful demonstration for the power of love.

What impressed me the most was that the father started a support group for other single fathers in the neighborhood. I find it an inspiration that this man who struggles to put food on the table for his family, has the energy and the passion to help others who are going through the same problems. I was humbled by his determination, outward expression of love, hope, and passion. He also demonstrated to me that no matter what you have or don't have, you always have something to give to others. You can always find a way to be of service.

I was once again reminded about the power of love and that no matter what your circumstances; you have something to give back. This family was also demonstrated that matter what the challenge, take each moment as it comes, stay focused on your passions and move forward one step at a time.

What does your family mean to you? How do you show your appreciation for each other? How do you give back to your community? Where do your passions come into play in family and community?

Sign up for my free PDD report and start living passionately now.

How to Stop Being a Victim of Time

Designing a passionate life includes creating a great relationship with time. In our busy days with a list of things to do that is a mile long, it's really easy to get caught in the "I don't have enough time" syndrome. I know that this is something that I say quite frequently. This came to my attention after reading the book "The Big Leap" by Gay Hendricks. If you haven't read it I would suggest it. In the book, Gay talks about moving from 'living in your excellence' to 'living in your genius'. It is full of great information and how to apply it in your own life.

Time came up again when I interviewed Paula Eder about time management. During the interview Paula talked about the idea that it's up to us to define our relationship with time. It made me stop and think about time in a whole new way.

Time is not our enemy; it is what we decide to do with the time that gives the appearance that time is the enemy. Every second we make choices that affect how we use time. We put things on our 'to do' list for many reasons. Some are because we want them on the list and others may be because we think we are expected to do certain things by others, or we said yes to many times. 

The story that Gay Hendricks told really made me realize that I was acting like a victim of time. I own time, it does not own me. Imagine this scenario, a father is reading the newspaper and his son comes up to him and asks him to play catch. The father replies "I'm sorry, I haven't got time right now."

Now imagine this scenario, the father is reading his newspaper and his son comes running into the house and says "Daddy, I cut myself!" The father would immediately put the paper down and assist his son. Rather than use time as an excuse, it would be much more honest if the father would simply have said, I'd like to read the paper right now, can we play catch in 30 minutes, is that OK?

How many times have you used time as an excuse not to do something rather than being honest about your choice? Gay Hendricks also suggests an exercise that you can give a try if you like. Remove any language that complains about time from your vocabulary.

Remove sentences such as:
I don't have time for that right now.
The time is flying by.
Where as the time gone?
I don't have enough hours in the day.
I have to run to the store.
I wish I could visit, but I don't have time.

I tried it and it is an extremely interesting exercise. I find myself being much more honest in what I say to other people and in the choices I make in each moment.
What do you want to do with the time that you have? It's up to you to decide. You are not the victim of time, you own time.

When are you going to take the first step and own time and start living a passionate life? Sign up for my free PDD report and get started now.

Getting to Know Your Passions

Designing a passionate life requires that you "get to know" your passions. When you are clear about what you are passionate about get to know your passions a little bit better. Write down your top five passions and under each one of them, list the core aspects of your passions that you connect with.

Answer the following questions about each passion:

• What is it about this passion that you connect with?
• Which of your values does it honor?
• What makes this passion fulfilling to you?
• How does this passion make you feel? Think about living this passion completely and fully. Visualize it and notice how it makes you feel. Write down emotions that experience when you visualize living this passion completely.
• What parts of this passion are you living right now?
• Which parts aren't you living right now?
• What are some different ways in which you can bring the aspects of your passion into your life right now?

Getting to know your passions and why they are so important to you, helps you to stay connected to that energy. As you did this exercise, I'm sure you connected to the energy of your passions when you visualized living them completely.

Find out what else you can do by signing up for my free PDD report now and start living passionately.sss

How to Recieve

Designing a passionate life, giving life meaning, and life purpose requires that you receive as well as give. From the time we are very little we are told by parents, teachers, friends, and relatives that it is better to give than to receive. I agree that it is a good thing to give but to give and give and give drains you of your energy and leaves a gapping hole in who you are. You have no idea who you are because you are so busy giving to everyone else you are and you have absolutely no idea how to receive.

The discussion on endless giving is for another blog post, right now I want to focus on receiving. There is a natural rhythm to giving and receiving and in order for the process to continue to flow, you must also receive. I want you to stop and think about how you receive. What do you do? Do you deflect compliments? Do you diminish the compliment? If someone gives you a gift, do you say, "you shouldn't have"? If someone wants to do something kind for you, do they have to practically hold you down and insist that you let them?

These are all methods of deflecting the gift the person is giving you, whether it is a gift of words, an object, or an experience. Two things are happening here. You are diminishing yourself, by not being open to receive and you are diminishing the gift being offered. When you know who you are and what you are about, receiving comes easily. It is not selfish to receive but a necessary flow of energy in your life. It fills you up and enables you to give back.

Now I want to give you some steps to take so you can practice receiving. If you are in the habit of deflecting it is going to take some practice to receive. That's OK, set your intention to receive fully and you will start the process of change. I'm going to use the gift of a compliment. It is small and easier to receive than some larger ways people can give to you.

Pick a scenario that you had recently where someone gave you a compliment and in some manner you deflected it, so you didn't take it in. Use that scenario to go through the following steps as the event originally occurred. Then go through the process a second time and create a different outcome where you received the compliment completely.

How to Receive a Compliment

1. Pause and simply notice how you respond. Where do you feel the compliment in your body? How does it feel? Is it tight, pleasant, or painful?
2. Pause before your reply, take a deep breath let it out and smile.
3. Look the other person in the eyes and say "Thank you", that's all. When you learn to accept receiving you can add more than Thank you.
4. Completely take the compliment in, let it run through your body and mind. Feel the energy. Soak it up. How does your body feel now? Is it energized? Dwell in the moment.
5. Replay the compliment in your mind a couple of times after it's given and appreciate the gift the person gave you and appreciate yourself for being able to receive it completely and with grace.

Receiving is an integral part of living a passionate life and living with fulfillment. Sign up for my free PDD report now and start living a passionate life now.

Find a Mentor and Coach to Assist You

Designing a passionate life can be much easier when you find a mentor to assist you. No matter what your passion is, finding a mentor to help you move forward can move you towards living your passions much faster and easier. When you are clear about what you want to focus your attention on, then I would suggest that you find a coach and a mentor.

I see these roles very differently. A coach can assist you in working through your blocks and your fears and also holds you accountable and gives you techniques to keep moving forward. A mentor is someone who is an expert in the area in which you want to focus.

A mentor knows the ins and outs of your passion and knows the exact action steps to take to get you to where you want to go. For example, if you want to advance your career in the corporate world in a specific field, you want to find a mentor who has been very successful at this and can help you identify the next action steps for you to take. If your passion is to lead a volunteer committee in your community, find a mentor who knows how to do this. If you want to start a business online, find a mentor who knows how to do this.

The list is endless. There is always someone out there who can help you to identify the exact action steps you need to move you towards living your passions. A coach is an integral part of your success as well. A coach partners with you to hold your vision, success, keeps you on track and holds you accountable.

Take that first step now and sign up for my free PDD report and start living a passionate life now.

How to Choose Between Passions

Designing a passionate life sometimes requires you to make choices between passions. What a great problem to have!! You are clear about your passions, you are living them, and they are bumping up against each other. When this happens, rejoice in the fact that you are living your passions. When you are clear about your passions, it is easier to make decisions that support you in living them. But what do you do when two of your top five passions clash? How do you choose between them?

This happened to me recently and it was an interesting question for me in the moment. I was presented with the choice of working in my business or spending time with my husband outside enjoying summer fun. Both of these are in my top five passions. I immediately noticed that I felt some conflict. One part of me wanted to say no because I was so excited about what I was doing in my business. And another part of me really wanted to spend time with my husband. What do you do when this happens?

It happened in an instant for me. I noticed the conflict within me immediately and just let it be. I didn't judge it in any way; I let the decision come to me. Rather than using my intellect, I followed my intuition. Ultimately, my commitment to my husband and our relationship outweighs my commitment to my business. I chose to spend time with my husband. We had a great picnic and enjoyed our time together in the park. It was a great way to take a break and let my creative juices get regenerated.

If you find yourself in this same conflict ask yourself the following questions:

• What action feels right to me, right now? (not what "should" I do)
• What are the consequences if I choose one passion over the other? Can I live with that consequence?
• What does my heart tell me to do?
• What commitments have I made that I must honor?

Give yourself some time to ponder these questions and then simply let the answer come to you. Your intuition will lead you to your answer. Celebrate that you are bringing change to your life by living your passions and living a more fulfilled life.

Take the next step and sign up for my free PDD report and find out what you can do to start living a passionate life.