Designing a Passionate Life

Watching Our Parents Grow Older

Designing and a passionate life creates life balance and deepens family connections. I recently saw an online journal that touched me so deeply that I want to share it with you at the end of this post. It is the story of a young man's journey through the later years of his father's life. It probably touched me very deeply because my father died 2 years ago and I remember my journey with him in his last few years.

5 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

Designing a passionate life includes a thriving relationship with yourself. If you have ever felt like something was missing in your life, you don't feel fulfilled, or that you're not on the right path then perhaps what's missing is you. Our lives are so filled with building relationships with family, friends, and co-workers that we forget to nourish our relationship with ourselves. When this happens you can feel lost, off-center, and out of balance. It's very easy to give yourself to all of those you love and loose yourself in the process.

When this happens, it's time to regroup and make time for yourself. If your relationship with yourself is not thriving you will have a very difficult time nurturing your other relationships. You won't have the desire or the energy to put into those relationships. The good news is that you can do something about it. If you notice this in your own life try one or more of the following methods to reconnect with you again.

5 Ways to Reconnect with Yourself

• Identify your passions. Get clear about what you love to do, what makes your heart sing. What gives you pleasure. Once you know what your passions are, you can focus on doing those things you love and removing the things from your life that drain you.
• Create a mastermind group. Gather a group of trusted friends who are all wanting to reconnect with themselves at a deeper level. I have a friend who meets with a group of ladies for years and they pick a spiritual or personal growth book to read and then gather to discuss once a month. You can design what the group does and you can set the ground rules.
• Spirituality. If this has fallen away from your life, reconnect to your spirituality. Study spiritual books, there are many traditions available to you. If you've never had one then explore with an open heart and find one that works for you. Perhaps you can find a community that supports you on your path to reconnecting with yourself.
• Mediation is a great tool to use. You don't have to meditate an hour to gain the benefits. There are many types of meditation available to you. There is the traditional meditation, moving meditation, visualizations, and others. Start small, don't try to go for a full hour the first time you meditate. In meditation, you start to notice your thoughts and become aware of what goes through your mind. It is eye opening.
• Journaling is another method of finding out more about yourself. Again, start small, you don't have to write a novel every time you write in your journal. Find a time to do this in you day and do it at the same time every day. The practice will open the flow of ideas and information deep within you.

Try one or more of these methods. Give it a chance. Try it for at least one month before you decide it is or isn't working. If one doesn't work, then move onto another one. The key to all of this is to make an appointment with yourself and keep it. You are just as important as any other person to whom you give your word. Start the journey of living passionately by signing up for my free PDD report now.

How to Listen Effectively

Designing a passionate life includes the ability to listen. The process of following your passions is not something you can do alone. Other people will assist you in living your passions. In order for people to assist you, you must use effective listening. Communication is the process of delivering a message to another person and the person receives the message by listening, which completes the process.

Listening is a powerful skill and one that can be learned. I've often notice people who hear, but don't listen. People hear the words a person is saying but  they are not assimilating and understanding the meaning of the words being said. Listening has not occurred and therefore, neither has communication.

Methods of Listening

• Point of View - In this method, the listener is hearing the words and thinking about ways to respond to get their point of view across. The listener is not interested in the other person's viewpoint. They are looking for holes or things that they don't agree with so that they can present their viewpoint. This method can create a competitive type of environment resulting in a negative experience and at times, a resulting argument.

• Hearing but not Listening - In this method, the listener is either not present or is hearing the words and either thinks they understand. The listener is not really interested in the other person's point of view, is distracted by other things (for example, cell phone, mp3 player, TV, radio etc) or the listener thinks they understand the message but doesn't ask any questions to confirm understanding.

• Listening with Curiosity - In this method, the listener hears the words being said and asks questions with genuine curiosity about the other person's viewpoint even if it is very different from their own. The listener asks questions and reflects information back to the speaker to clarify understanding so that they are clear about the intended message. This level of communication can create deep connections with people. People know when you are genuinely curious about their message and appreciate your attentiveness.

How to Listen Effectively

• The most effective method is to listen with curiosity. You do this by asking questions when you don't understand what the person is saying. Reframe the statement in the form of a question.
• Reflect statements back to the person in your own words. If the person said something that you don't understand then restate it in words that you understand and ask them if that is what they were saying.
• Listen for the emotions behind the words and ask questions. You may say something like, it sounds like I'm hearing a lot of anger about this, is that correct? If they say yes, ask them to tell you what they are angry about.
• Maintain eye contact. There is nothing more distracting and dismissive than people who will not look you in the eye when you are sharing something you are passionate about.
• Recognize when to respond to a question. Often times, people will start a conversation with a question but they are not really looking for an answer. It is their methodology for starting a conversation. I often times will ask them if they want me to answer the question or not.
• Set your intention to listen with an open heart and be totally present. Everyone wants to be heard and there is nothing more rewarding than having a discussion with someone who is totally present and willing to hear your point of view.

What kind of listener are you? What kind of listener do you want to be? How would your life change if you listened effectively? What connections would occur if you were truly curious about other people's viewpoints? Sign up for my free PDD report and start the journey of following your passions.

Which of Your Behaviors Make You Feel at Peace?

Designing a passionate life consists of a number of behaviors from minute to minute, from hour to hour and day to day. Your entire day is made up of how you act and respond to different situations. Your life is made up of behaviors. Are you consciously choosing your behaviors throughout the day or reacting without thought? How do you want your behaviors to feel?

If you want your behaviors to give you a sense of peace, then start by noticing them. How would you respond in some of the following examples?

If a driver cuts you off on the road, how do you behave? Do you rant and rave, or simply wonder why that person is in such a hurry? Which would give you more peace?

How do you listen to your spouse? Are you defensive or do you listen with an open heart and mind? Which would give you more peace?

When a co-worker makes a mistake, do you huff and puff or simply point out the mistake and suggest a solution? Which would give you more peace?

What if a good friend lets you down? Do you get angry, pout and refuse to talk to them until they apologize or do you explain to them how you feel as a result of this and ask him or her to explain? Which would give you more peace?

Reacting with anger, frustration, and annoyance drains you of energy and leaves you feeling hollow. Connect with your inner wisdom and ask for guidance in your response to different scenarios as they arise throughout the day. You may surprise yourself. I know that you will save a lot of energy by choosing to behave differently. Don't take my word for it, try it and see how you feel.

I would love to hear the results of those of you who give this a try. Please feel free to comment on this post after you try it.

Part of living a passionate life is making conscious choices about our behavior from one minute to the next. When are you going to start living in alignment with your passions? Sign up for my free PDD report and start now.

Why Do People Resist Change?

If you are truly going to design and live a passionate life then you are going to have to make some changes. Some changes will feel good and will be easy to make. Other changes may feel daunting and not as easy to make. You have a choice in how you want to live your life. Are you open to doing the changes that need to occur for this to happen?

What is change?
The meaning of the word 'change' is to make radically different or to make a shift from one to the other. The level of change can range from very small to very large and usually the amount of resistance is proportionate to the level of change. For example, if you're used to taking a certain route to work and the State does some road construction that results in a new route to work, it's irritating but not life altering. You can deal with this change and adjust rather quickly. However, if the change in route adds an extra hour and 40 additional miles to your trip, this can have a significant affect on your lifestyle. You would have a high resistance to this change.

Why do people resist change?
The number one reason why people resist change is because it removes them from their routine and most times out of their comfort zone, which results in fear. Routine is a very comfortable place to live and when it's disturbed on purpose or by chance, you can get thrown off balance. Think about when you drive to a new part of the city and the roads are unfamiliar, you get nervous. However, you do it because you want to reach your destination.

Think back to when you were growing up and all of the things you had to learn. It was often times very uncomfortable and not fun. You didn't want to look funny, you didn't feel safe, you were afraid people would laugh at you, you were afraid you would fail, or you didn't feel supported by those you love. As adults we don't want to experience any of these things either.

When you don't change, you stay in the same place and are stagnant and begin to feel the affects. Sometimes the mere thought of making a change in our lives can throw us off both mentally and physically. This is often times a scary place to be and we long for the way it was or we want to stay right where we are and not 'rock the boat'.

The questions to ask yourself are - Am I passionate about my life? If not, how committed am I to changing it?

How can you embrace change?

• Recognize that you aren't passionate about your life and decide to make changes. You can't keep doing things the same way and expect different results. You must change your mindset and your actions.
• Get very clear about your passions.
• See the possibilities, envision it. Make the vision clearer and clearer.
• Determine where to start. You can start with very small changes that are easy to make or you can go for the big change. It all depends on how quickly you want the change to occur and how committed you are to making the change.
• See the change as an adventure rather than something to fear. How can you make the change interesting and easy? Come up with some possible ideas and implement the one that feels good.
• Get support in making the change. Hire a coach, find a mentor, or form a Mastermind group.

Take the first step and sign up for my free PDD report and find out why passion is so important in your life.

5 Principles for Living a Passionate Life

When you are designing a passionate life there are five principles that will help you accomplish your vision and live a passionate life. 

Intention
Setting your intention requires that you have clarity about what you want to accomplish. What do you intend your life to look like? What type of people do you intend to surrounded yourself with? What do you intend to accomplish? How do you intend to experience life? What is important to you? Write down what it is you want to accomplish and be very explicit about your vision.

Attention
After you are clear about what you intend to accomplish, keep you attention on that vision. Start to notice the possibilities that are available to you to move you closer to the life you envision. Who are the people around you who can assist you? What are you placing your attention on as you go through your day? Are you focused on what is happening or what is not happening? Who are the people you need to meet that can move you forward?

Integrity
Whether you give your word to others or to yourself, it is law. Follow through when you commit to do something. If obstacles occur along the way and you can't keep your commitment, then inform those who are affected by the outcome. How well do you keep your commitments to others? How well do you keep your commitments to yourself? How can you improve this aspect of your life? What stops you from keeping your commitments?

Take Action
Without taking action, all of the intentions that you set are worthless. When you focus on your passions and take action, you are fueled to keep moving forward. You can the results of what you have learned along the way and it energizes you to keep moving forward. More and more opportunities appear, more connections are made and, you the steps you take occur in bigger increments. What is the breakthrough action that you need to take right now to move you towards living a passionate life? What action steps are you taking today, tomorrow, and next week? What is your plan?

Build a Support Team
It is essential that you surround yourself with a support team. The team should consist of people who encourage you, who support your vision and your passion, who can brainstorm with you when you're stuck, who will hold you accountable for your actions, and who will support you when things don't go exactly as planned. Your support team can consist of business partners, people with the same passions, a mentor, a coach, friends, or family. You need to be clear on what it is you want from your support team. What is you expect from this team? What are the qualities you want each person to have as part of your support team? What time commitment do you expect from them?

Take the first action step to living passionately and sign up for my free PDD report now.

How to Embrace Waiting

Designing a passionate life includes the ability to wait with ease and grace. This is not always an easy thing to do. I find this to be one of the most challenging aspects of my life. I can do it better in some areas than others and perhaps that is your experience as well. I find that the more I'm attached to the outcome of the event, the harder it is for me to wait with ease and grace. I want it to happen quicker, I want to try and force it to happen and I have no control over either of these things, so it is a waste of my time and energy to even try.

Think about the amount of time you spend waiting. You wait in the doctor's office, dentist's office, the grocery store checkout line, in traffic, to receive an answer to a business proposal, for a potential new client to say yes, for a job offer to come, or to hear the outcome of an election. These are just a few areas of our lives where we experience waiting. How you spend your time waiting is a part of living a passionate life and will directly affect your outcomes.

Think of all of the opportunities available to you while waiting that you can use in energizing ways. How do you spend your time waiting? Do you spend your time worrying, frustrated because you can't move onto your next task, angry at the people in front of you, anxious because it is taking so much of your time, angry because you haven't got an answer yet? All of these ways to wait, use your energy and put you in a negative state of mind. How could you use your waiting time differently?

Reflect on How You Wait

• Notice the emotions you are experiencing and then ask yourself, what is the source of these emotions? More than likely it isn't the waiting at all, but some thought that you have about your time waiting. Explore this possibility and see what comes up for you.
• Possible questions to ask yourself include?
• How can I experience this waiting time differently?
• What are the possibilities?
• How can I make this time more enjoyable?
• What will it take for me to be at peace during this time of waiting?
• How do I want to feel while I wait?
• What am I to learn from this time of waiting?

Suggestions on How to Wait

• Breathe deeply and think about a time and place when you really enjoyed yourself.
• If you're in a line, engage the person in front or behind you in a conversation.
• If you're driving, spend the time naming the things that you are grateful for or really look at the scenery that you drive past every day.
• Connect to your Spirit and enjoy the energy this provides you.
• Choose how you want to feel while you're waiting and focus your attention there.
• If you're in a waiting room, observe the people in the room and notice the interactions of people.
• Meditate or listen to calming music.

How would your life be different, more passionate if you spent your waiting time differently? Sign up for my free PDD report and find out how to start living a passionate life now.

How to Love Yourself

Designing a passionate life includes unconditional love for yourself. When you love yourself no matter what is occurring in your life, you are able to make decisions from your essential self rather from your mind or ego. The decision will be based on your truth rather than on the emotion that your mind is experiencing.

This sounds like a great idea and one that most of us would like to do, and I know that life happens and it is easy to get caught up in the routine, the drama, and the energy of those around us and forget to show love to ourselves.

For me, the signs that this is happening is when I find myself growling at life and/or people, I'm tired, I don't feel energized by life, I feel disconnected from family, and I'm frankly not excited about life. These are all signals to me, to engage in some self-love activities. What are your signals that you're not feeding your essential self?

How to Embrace Self-Love

• Make a list of the things that you absolutely love to do. These things can range from the very small to the very large. Pick two or three items on your list and see how to incorporate them into your every day.
• Speak with family and friends about the things you love to do. This connects you to the energy of the tings you love and to your essential self and it energizes you. Put your whole heart into the conversation and share your energy with those around you.
• Ask your family and friends to share what they love with you. Their energy is contagious and you will be energized by their excitement. You never know when a new idea will be born out of a conversation such as this. You may discover something about your family and friends that you didn't know.
• Listen to music that inspires, uplifts, and energizes you.

These methods will raise your awareness to the things that you do love and will reconnect you to what you enjoy in life and you will start to notice a shift in your energy. You will notice that you are much more relaxed and at peace. You are feeding your essential self, which is at the core of who you are. Staying in this energy will help you to make decisions in favor of your passions because they feed your essential self.

Try each of these methods and notice the difference in how you feel. After you try them, or create some methods of your own, pick the methods that work best for you. Start living a passionate life now. Sign up for my free PDD report and find out what else you can do.

Part 3: How Supportive are Your Inner Environments?

Designing a passionate life includes making sure that your inner environments are supporting you in living a passionate life. In my two past blogs I've talked about how to create outer environments that support you. Now I'm going to focus on your both of your emotional and spirituality inner environments.

This process starts by taking inventory of your inner environments. Ask yourself the following questions about your emotional environment.

• How do I recognize my emotions?
• How do I feel when I wake up in the morning?
• What keeps me from maintaining an emotional balance?
• What emotions do I experience around repeating patterns in my life that are not supportive?
• When do I feel most at peace?
• When do I feel happy?
• What triggers my fear?
• What do I notice about my state of emotions on a daily basis?
• What contracting emotion keeps coming up for me over and over?

Ask yourself the following questions about your spirituality:

• What does it mean to me to be spiritual?
• How do I connect with my higher power?
• What keeps me from connecting to my higher power?
• How do I express my connection to my higher power in the world?
• What is my belief about my relationship with my higher power?
• What are my spiritual practices?
• How do I lean into my higher power?
• Who makes up my spiritual community?
• What is missing from my spirituality?

Write down these questions and spend some time with them. Create some space where you can ask the question and see what comes up for you. Don't censor your answers. You are after your truth and there is no one else who will be judging your answers. This is a self-inventory for you to notice where you are so you can recognize where you want to go. This will provide you with the clarity for you to move forward and living a passionate life.

Sign up for my free PDD report and find out how important passion is to your life.

How Do You Nurture Your Relationships?

Designing a passionate life requires nurturing of your relationships. Relationships are the key to our lives.  When I speak of relationships I am speaking about all types including yourself, parents, siblings, romantic partners, business partners, co-workers, customers, children, and vendors. The list can go on and on.

Relationships are key elements to living a passionate life as well. Without good relationships you aren't going to make it very far down the road with your passions. You need people to support you in your passion in one manner or another. Relationships are the foundation of functioning on this planet in any culture.

What do you do to nurture yours? Ask yourself the following questions, write down your answers and come up with some action items to nurture your relationships.

How can I create a deeper connection to myself?
How can I improve my relationship with my parents?
How can I take my service to my customers to the next level?
What areas in my romantic relationship could use more love and understanding? How will I accomplish this?
What can I do to improve my communications with my co-workers?
How can I contribute to a higher level of team participation with my business partners?
How can I bring fun to my relationships with my siblings?
How can I contribute to a deeper connection with my children?

Nurturing relationships is an ongoing process and one to be aware of in all dealings with people, even people you meet in passing. Think about it, what makes or breaks your day? For me, it is usually the interactions that I have with other people. If they went well, I feel good about my day. If there were challenges then I don't feel as good and my energy level is low.

How you handle and nurture your relationships has a direct affect on your energy level, your feeling of well being, and the ease with which your life flows. Time spent nurturing and improving all of your relationships will reward you on many levels.

How do you nurture the relationships that will support you in living your passions? Sign up for my free PDD report and find out how to start living a passionate life.